July 28, 2009 by pam
I had started this with a different title, Living Life in the Real World. I want to be more specific. I deal with certain difficulties as do many others and then there’s life. Sometimes that’s difficult enough on its own.
I’m 50 now and when I woke this morning my back hurt. It does most mornings. So, I stretched a bit and started wobbling through the house getting ready for the gym. Wobbling is my description of the way I walk without my walker. I walk like a drunk. I returned to the bedroom for it in order to avoid hanging on to the walls and spilling my cereal. Once I had been one of that mom’s that insisted you take off your shoes and keep your hands off the walls. Well, I can’t walk without my shoes or without touching every door frame, so that rule went out the window.
I used to like to get drunk in the evenings so that I could escape the day I just had. First of all, I know I’ve got it a hell of a lot better than many others and I don’t feel sorry for myself, but when you’re at the end of the your day, or sometimes in the middle of it, your world is the world. However, drinking didn’t help the walking or anything else for that matter. It became a problem. Fortunately I was able to get out of the alcohol pool from the shallow end. I go to three or four meetings a week. I’ve been in and out for two years now. Things are much better, but I miss the freedom to be able to drink. I don’t like limitations, so I guess I’m in for it and better get used to it.
The gym. I mentioned going to the gym. It has been great for me socially as well as physically. However right now I’m will say that I’m sore and tired. A good sore and tired???? Yes. With SP I’m often tired and sore, now I know that I worked hard to feel miserable.
I also have two children who are no longer children, they’re young adults. They’re all grown up and still don’t understand that a dishwasher full of clean dishes can be emptied, or that empty garbage cans can be returned to the garage, and then there are the dirty dishes about the house. I suppose the one who wobbles can put them away.
I’ve felt an empty patch in my life for some time now that I’ve tried to fill with books, watching movies, and writing essays. Last week I picked up a book to read before the movie comes out. I love to do that. Well, the book is Julie and Julia. It had begun when a young woman who was unhappy with her life decided to take on Julia Child’s cook book and blog as she went along. Apparently it opened up her world for her. I just hope to find a way to share my experiences with others who may relate to them, or may just be interested. I don’t know what to expect. That’s life, isn’t it, one day at a time. (AA
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