Sometimes you have to take charge.

Okay, I had stated earlier that I attended AA because I had found myself hiding in alcohol. I was gad I went there but I've come to a point were I don't wish to go. I've met some very nice people and some very strange people. I've learned that I'm not alone but much of the time I felt, well, at a loss for words. Many people's lives were destroyed by alcohol, many people nearly died. I benefited from listening and talking and taking part in the meetings. However as my legs grew worse I had found myself sitting there physically, not mentally. Actually the steps, except for the first, mean little to me. "I am powerless over alcohol.." Well, I'm powerless over life. We all are.

I've found escape and relief through activities and responsibilities at home. I haven't been to a meeting in over a week and don't know when or if I'll return. I need to talk about life not drinking. I had reached a point where I started passing instead of talking. Someone I came to know, the only other who didn't believe in religion, gave me a book called The Evolution of God. It's about the development of mankind and religions around the globe. That Anthropologist that I wanted to be when I was a kid, likes the sound of that.

So, I'm not drinking and I'm doing it on my own. It feels quite good actually. I felt bad for many of those people, yet at times I just wanted to get home where I felt I belonged.

I suppose I'm working on my own program. This blog will let you know how it's going, I'm sure.

6:50 pm