Some days suck when nothing goes wrong. Today was sucky but everything went smoothly. I went to the gym, had my hair done, went to the C.U., Meijer's, the Post Office, and the grain elevator.
So, why was it sucky? Because while dragging my feet, as I tried to pick them up, I lost one of the leather pieces from the bottom of my sneaker, the car key is stuck in the ignition so I have to go to the dealer tomorrow, and I'm tired of trying to walk normal. It's not working and I've had enough.
I just finished an essay for my writer's group and I'm going to slip into something soft and fluffy and chill out for the next two or so hours.
I try not to complain but this Spastic Paraplegia can be a pain in the..... (Place where ever you like!)
9:25 p.m.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
One Day at a Time
I can remember waking up, climbing out of bed, throwing on my robe, getting the kids organized and heading for the kitchen. That sure feels like a long time ago and it was. The 'kids' are now 20 and 23, so I haven't had to get them organized in quiet sometime. However, it's been years now since I've been able to just climb out of bed and head to the kitchen.
It's been about 15 years since I started having difficulties walking. It was simply scuffing once in a while, then after a time I was not scuffing once in a while. Well, all the rest is history. I use my walker through out the house and also have to leave my shoes on to walk. (That used to be a no-no.) When I'm feeling suborn I walk without the walker and find myself grabbing onto furniture and door frames, much to my frustration.
My morning usually begin about a half hour or so after Bob leaves. I turn on GMA for a bit. I know that I'm headed for the gym, so after thinking my other plans for the day I swing my legs out and carefully walk to the bathroom. I shower at night because morning showers fatigue me, so I dress for the gym, put on my sneakers, make the bed, grab the walker, and head for the kitchen. (If the kids aren't on their way to work or class, their in bed.)
I sometimes find myself getting a bit frustrated at breakfast. Now, I shouldn't complain because I don't really have it that bad, but grasping at counter tops, balancing while reaching in the fridge, and concentrating while carrying my oatmeal bugs me a bit!
After applying my war paint, fluffing the hair, and packing my clothes in the gym bag, I head to the garage. Getting out to the car with my purse and gym bag is sort of like being in the fun house. Descending the steps while closing and locking the door with one hand and holding everything else in the other, is a balancing act. I keep a cane in the car so my right hand is free. I carefully walk, stepping down again, and touching a metal shelving unit for balance. When I had the van I always bumped the hanging garden tools with my gym bag as I open the doors and put items inside. Now I drive a car and have more room to move without hearing the chiming of the garden tools. Once seated I feel and a sense of control and safety, no more holding on or dropping things. Yes, I'm in a car headed for the road, but I feel saver than moments ago.
At the gym my trainer is an angel and looks out for me. She's near me for difficulty with balance and she gets all the equipment we need. However, that's two days a week, the other days I do my best not to bump into things. When working with weights I have to carry them to where I'm working. I usually do pretty good on my own. A few regulars help out with out being asked. They're great guys. I'm sure some wonder if I'd be offended by asking, other's just don't see me. It's obvious when I have to excuse myself in order to get around them. (meat heads)
This my day, at the gym, home, store, where ever. Some mornings I'm not so anxious to jump, so to speak, out of bed. Some mornings I have to talk myself into it. I discovered a movie that I've seen many times already. It's called Sunshine Cleaning with Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, and Allan Arken. She, Amy Adams, doesn't have a disability, but has to deal with some hurdles in her life. I like it because she starts her days telling herself that she is strong and she can do it.
On my mirror I have a piece of paper that says, 'Once day at a time.' It's not for AA, it's just for getting through each day and feeling that I have some power over that day.
9:00 p.m.
It's been about 15 years since I started having difficulties walking. It was simply scuffing once in a while, then after a time I was not scuffing once in a while. Well, all the rest is history. I use my walker through out the house and also have to leave my shoes on to walk. (That used to be a no-no.) When I'm feeling suborn I walk without the walker and find myself grabbing onto furniture and door frames, much to my frustration.
My morning usually begin about a half hour or so after Bob leaves. I turn on GMA for a bit. I know that I'm headed for the gym, so after thinking my other plans for the day I swing my legs out and carefully walk to the bathroom. I shower at night because morning showers fatigue me, so I dress for the gym, put on my sneakers, make the bed, grab the walker, and head for the kitchen. (If the kids aren't on their way to work or class, their in bed.)
I sometimes find myself getting a bit frustrated at breakfast. Now, I shouldn't complain because I don't really have it that bad, but grasping at counter tops, balancing while reaching in the fridge, and concentrating while carrying my oatmeal bugs me a bit!
After applying my war paint, fluffing the hair, and packing my clothes in the gym bag, I head to the garage. Getting out to the car with my purse and gym bag is sort of like being in the fun house. Descending the steps while closing and locking the door with one hand and holding everything else in the other, is a balancing act. I keep a cane in the car so my right hand is free. I carefully walk, stepping down again, and touching a metal shelving unit for balance. When I had the van I always bumped the hanging garden tools with my gym bag as I open the doors and put items inside. Now I drive a car and have more room to move without hearing the chiming of the garden tools. Once seated I feel and a sense of control and safety, no more holding on or dropping things. Yes, I'm in a car headed for the road, but I feel saver than moments ago.
At the gym my trainer is an angel and looks out for me. She's near me for difficulty with balance and she gets all the equipment we need. However, that's two days a week, the other days I do my best not to bump into things. When working with weights I have to carry them to where I'm working. I usually do pretty good on my own. A few regulars help out with out being asked. They're great guys. I'm sure some wonder if I'd be offended by asking, other's just don't see me. It's obvious when I have to excuse myself in order to get around them. (meat heads)
This my day, at the gym, home, store, where ever. Some mornings I'm not so anxious to jump, so to speak, out of bed. Some mornings I have to talk myself into it. I discovered a movie that I've seen many times already. It's called Sunshine Cleaning with Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, and Allan Arken. She, Amy Adams, doesn't have a disability, but has to deal with some hurdles in her life. I like it because she starts her days telling herself that she is strong and she can do it.
On my mirror I have a piece of paper that says, 'Once day at a time.' It's not for AA, it's just for getting through each day and feeling that I have some power over that day.
9:00 p.m.
Life and what I Really want to Do.
It's hard to believe that it's March already. My last entry was in January! I had intended to be more active with this blog, however life sort of took over. Now, what does that mean exactly. Has life taken over or have I neglected to engage in the activities I enjoy. I go to the gym each morning, then Meijers once or twice a week, and then the usual laundry, cleaning, and on those days when I work out and go to Meijers, I have to nap. Then there's dinner and clean up and before I know it it's seven or so and my writing thoughts start to diminish.
During the day I think of things that I may make a good essay, but to get to the computer and not do other things has become more difficult. I'll have to have a talk with myself. Life is short and unpredictable and I don't wish to go out having done the same old things day in and day out when I have a desire to do something else. It would be different if I didn't have the time, but I do, I just don't manage it well. As my mom had said, "No one notices house work unless you don't do it." I have to admit that sometimes it's just the same thing each week. We can all relate to that in some way.
8:15 p.m.
During the day I think of things that I may make a good essay, but to get to the computer and not do other things has become more difficult. I'll have to have a talk with myself. Life is short and unpredictable and I don't wish to go out having done the same old things day in and day out when I have a desire to do something else. It would be different if I didn't have the time, but I do, I just don't manage it well. As my mom had said, "No one notices house work unless you don't do it." I have to admit that sometimes it's just the same thing each week. We can all relate to that in some way.
8:15 p.m.
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