No One Said It Would Be Easy
Last May two friends drove to Las Vegas in a small car packed high and riding low. As the cold winds of January blew I counted the days leading to the week I would see my son again, wondering if he’d changed at all. Since he had left I found it hard to look at photo albums. Little boys grow up too fast. He and his friend were arriving at 5 a.m. on the last Wednesday of the month. My husband and I had waited to hear who was willing to pick them up. Monday we heard a close friend had offered and they would then be spending some of the day together. So, with that information my husband went to work that Wednesday and scheduled the remainder of the visit off.

Wednesday arrived. By late morning I called to try and schedule my day. I learned I had plenty of time to do anything I needed or wanted to do. After my errands the day passed slowly. My husband came home, we had dinner, I headed out to the writer’s group, and my husband went to band practice.

I came home around 9:00 to an empty house and unlocked the front door looking forward to their arrival. While in the kitchen I heard the door open and a familiar hello. A grin spread across my face, but my heart sank when I heard a guitar case being set on the floor. My husband walked into the kitchen, looked around and asked about the boy. With a quick call we found that due to the flight and catching up he and his friends were moving slow. Well, time passed and I was tired. I prepared for bed and was warming under a comforter when a car door was heard. My husband stood and looked toward the front door and stated that he was here. I grinned due to my husband’s excitement as much as my own. The front door opened and I heard his voice. I had tossed the comforter aside and made it to the end of the couch as our son entered the room. Father and son shook hands and spoke; I received a tight hug and then came the tears. I pulled myself together pretty fast, for me. There had been a change, he was taller and broader than I remembered. He’d only been gone months yet my 24 year old boy was definitely a young man. His friend hadn’t come. He was headed for his own visits. So, we stayed up late discussing ways to see everyone by Tuesday. A main adjective of his was connecting with a close friend who he had spent a great deal of time with had grown close to. The type of friend you talk to everyday and who talks to you parents. The friend who picks you up at 5:30 A.M. at the airport.

One evening after a show and dinner he almost seemed apologetic while leaving to see his buddy. “Go,” we said. “See ya in the morning, and tell him we said hi” They spent many evenings and some days together, but I’m sure it was still hard to say see ya later.

We thought it was interesting to see that not much had changed. To see and hear him in the house felt as if he hadn’t left; the automotive magazines in different rooms of the house, his messy bed and back pack, dishes that ended up on the counter rather than in the dish washer, and most importantly he hadn’t lost that playful sarcastic sense of humor. Even though some things didn’t change, we noticed he had grown within through the experience of moving away and loosing that safety net he had at home.

The plan had been for him to join his friend in Vegas, stay in the family home, save up and then move out together. With that invitation he went out with hopes for a new start on life. Shorty after his arrival our son found a job, but his friend lost his. Hopes of saving are now stalled. In the meantime they focus on writing and recording their own music. Something they do well, something to aim for.

It was fun to hear of what he and his friends do in their spare time and to learn how different his life is in Las Vegas. We were able to see videos of them rock climbing and could spot the Strip in the distance. Our son has lots of stories and many hopes.

On Saturday his sister came by to join us to visit their grandparents. When she came in he commented that she looked all grown up, they even hugged. Then, for the first time in a long time the four of us road in the same car. There was much fun and silliness; I must have smiled all the way. There we found not only grandparents but Aunts and Uncles too. Everyone was very pleased to be together. We talked and laughed for hours and then hugs all around as we left. My son bent to hug his seated grandma; he had to bend a bit to hug his grandfather too. Both expressed the joy of seeing everyone and commented that the cousins there were big now, the others were at work. They had all grown up.

A blizzard hit so the flight back to Vegas was delayed for 24 hours. This gave us a chance to visit with the young man from Vegas since he had to sleep on the couch. What was an unfortunate delay turned out to be an enjoyable evening of movie watching and listening to two young men competing with their hand held technology.

Wednesday evening we dropped them at the airport for their flight. I was quite sure that he’d hug his Dad and I’d give him a big hug. Emotionally I was doing well all day. Then we pulled up, unloaded and before I could hug him I lost it. While failing to hold back the tears I hugged him hard. “I love you!” I said in a squeaky voice. He pulled me a tight with his free arm “I love you too.” he replied in a strong voice.

Due to the fact that my ‘sprinkler system’ doesn’t shut off easily the ride home was damp and I was glad I had grabbed tissue for my coat pocket. Perhaps I need new washers, or a tighter valve.

He’ll be back, when time permits and in the meantime we’ll phone, email and Facebook. He’s not gone, he’s just far away. This is how it’s meant to be, he’s left our nest to eventually find his own. That’s life and sometimes it’s not easy.